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"Addict in the Family" by Beverly Conyers

book review by Riley Burnham 10/26/2022

well this was super worth reading/listening to

an extraordinary distillation of wisdom relating to addiction & its subsequent effects on families

this was written by the mother of an addict, who essentially nails it across the board

it talks of the emotional, spiritual, mental, physical [etc.] trauma of intertwining lives w/ someone [especially adult children] hooked on drugs, alcohol, etc.

she says often the problems of the addict become as-if-real problems to the rest of the family, who are unable to "just stop" the causative behavior [thus more trauma]

parents worried of their children's demise; being stolen from; humiliated publicly & socially; witnessing legal troubles & homelessness, etc. -- a lot to endure

it speaks of the underlying causes & pitfalls of addiction, & right & wrong ways to approach/discuss/interact w/ the user -- emphasis on reducing controlling language ["you should, etc."] -- as the addict -- already shunned & regretful -- hears this as "you are worthless & need to change yourself to be loved, etc."

fragile egos, disrupted pleasure-systems, triggering emotional cues, & access/proximity make it an easy hole to keep falling into

a great part of the book discusses the intervention -- a defined turning point [hopefully] where the addict sees that others love them & want healing -- she also says to follow up(!!) as the intervention alone may require more to get the message across

finally, as the addict enters a 12-step program [author describes these as a godsend], the family also begins to heal [their own journey], which teaches them to disconnect a bit from the addict, letting their own lives re-emerge

it's hard to measure how far-reaching & devastating addiction can be