“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman, PhD & Nan Silver

book review by Riley Burnham 11/9/2026

well it’s practical enough

the gist here is methods of communication, from learning underlying structures of what generally works [keeping things positive, light, upbeat] to what poisons the marriage [disgust, excessive negativity], & techniques for staying on the better path

he distinguishes complaining from criticizing, noting how the former allows the partner to hear & adjust [even if it’s just a silly face], while the latter goes at the character of the person [“you think i’m stupid,” etc.]

there are a lot of exercises & numbered lists here, which i glazed over via the audiobook version, however the axiomatic advices seem pretty sound, as the goal is to see & hear partners [& make them feel as such], while doing so in a constructive, functional way